Karen

The Wisest Mentor You’ll Ever Have

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The Wisest Mentor You’ll Ever Have

connect with your future-self in retirement

Coming face-to-face with yourself

You know, I probably shouldn’t say this out loud – but if everyone got really good at tuning in to their own deeper wisdom, I’d soon be out of a job!

Yes, I am being a little facetious – but what if the key to navigating life’s next chapter, including retirement, was as simple as taking regular time to have deep, meaningful, intentional chats with yourself?

And if that sounds a bit like self-mentoring, you’re right. 

Because one of the most powerful mentoring relationships available to you is the one between ‘You Now’ and ‘Future You’.

The truth is, this relationship between who you are today and who you’re becoming isn’t something you have to create – it’s already within you – the part that already knows what really matters and what will still matter years from now. The challenge is making space to actually have the conversations – to hear and listen to your internal voice, and then -and this is the important bit – to base your choices on what you learn.

Imagine for a moment sitting across the table from ‘Future You’, who’s offering a few words of perspective:

Thank you for looking after your health, even when it felt like there were always more pressing things to do.
I’m proud that you didn’t keep waiting for the “perfect time” to enjoy life.
I wish you’d spent less energy worrying about things that never truly mattered.

Can you start to see the wisdom on offer even in this brief exchange?

People often talk about retirement like it’s a cliff edge – one life ending and another beginning overnight. In truth, it’s more of a gradual handover between You Now and Future You. It is also the perfect space for some self-mentoring.

If the term ‘self-mentoring’ puts you off, what I’m really advocating is something very simple: asking yourself questions that help you access the wisdom that already resides within.

One simple question

If you like to keep things simple (and I always do), try using this one question as an example of what I mean:

“Is this helping or hindering the person I’m becoming?”

You can use it almost anywhere:

  • When you’re deciding how long to keep working

  • When you notice your energy isn’t what it used to be

  • When your time fills up with things that don’t feel meaningful

  • When you’re holding onto an identity that may be ready to change

You’re not looking for perfect answers. Just honest ones.

Direction matters more than detail

Good mentors don’t micromanage the journey. They help you see where you are (which isn’t always as simple as it sounds) and where you genuinely want to go (also more layered than you might expect) – so you can move forward with intention rather than drift by default.

Mentoring your future self works in much the same way. It isn’t about constructing a ‘perfect plan’ or predicting every twist and turn. It’s about acknowledging the principles that matter deeply to you and letting them guide your decisions.

Because when your decisions reflect what truly matters, something shifts. You’re no longer drifting. You’re making intentional choices.

And one day, when that future version of you looks back, there’s a quiet recognition:

Yes. That was true to what mattered.

Your future self has something to say

None of this need be complicated or difficult – you just need a pen, a piece of paper, and a few quiet minutes.

Try this simple exercise to get you started.  Write a short note from your Future Self to You Now. Use it to quietly tap into your innate wisdom and reflect on the person you are, the person you’ve been, and the person you hope to become.

Here are a few prompts if you need them: 

  • Thank you for…

  • I’m glad you stopped worrying about…

  • I’m so pleased you started…

What ends up on the page is often wiser and more revealing than you might expect.

Taking a little time to imagine the conversation you might have with your Future Self can help close the emotional gap between who you are today and who you’re becoming. Your future self is no stranger- in fact he/she already knows you better than anyone.

And if this all feels easier said than done, that’s exactly where I come in... with an outside perspective to help you hear what you already know.

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The Vital Space Between What Was and What’s Next

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The Vital Space Between What Was and What’s Next

The finances are in place. The farewell speeches have been made and your colleagues have waved you off with hugs and promises to stay in touch. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, dotted the i’s, crossed the t’s, and done everything you can to ensure you’re ‘retirement ready’. 

Then why, after doing everything ‘right’, does it still feel like something’s missing – like you’re ready on paper, but not quite in your heart?

Welcome to the disorienting twilight zone of retirement – the strange in-between place where you’re no longer who you were, and not yet who you’re becoming. A place where uncomfortable questions come thick and fast, but the answers are nowhere to be found… and where “What do you do now?” suddenly becomes the most loaded question in the English language!

If you’re feeling untethered, confused, or even a little panicked, fear not, these uncomfortable feelings are simply a sign that you’re in a natural and necessary part of a life transition.

Let’s be honest, none of us is great at hanging out in the unknown. Most of us want a plan, a sense of direction, something solid to grab onto. So when something like your working life comes to an end, the urge is to leap straight into ‘what’s next’ as soon as possible to ease that sense of disorientation.

But this in-between time serves a vital function.

Letting go of the past and stepping into the unknown is never without its challenges.  But that tension – between what’s ending and what hasn’t yet begun – is a vital part of the process of change.

And it’s exactly where you’re meant to be.

Yes, it feels uncomfortable because your old certainties are gone, and the new ones haven’t yet formed. But it’s in this space that the necessary readjustments happen. When you stop resisting the discomfort and allow yourself to sit with it, clarity gradually starts to emerge. Bit by bit, new perspectives surface, ideas take shape, and opportunities you couldn’t see before begin to appear.

When it feels like nothing is happening... something is!

This part of the process has been called many things including the powerful pause and the fertile void, both of which encapsulate what’s going on here.

It’s a vital space where the seeds of what’s next can gently take root, long before they break the surface.

Yes, this in-between time can certainly feel unsettling, but it’s not empty or wasted. It’s one of the most important parts of any transition.

Whether you’re stepping into retirement, facing an unexpected life change, or standing at any major crossroads, everything around us screams, “Don’t just stand there, DO something!” We’re conditioned to believe that movement equals progress, and action dissolves anxiety, and if we just keep pushing forward, clarity will magically appear around the next corner.

But what if this assumption is flawed? What if taking a pause isn’t a frustrating delay on our journey but an essential part of the journey itself?

The space between who you were and who you’re becoming

Taking a powerful pause at the start of your retirement isn’t about doing nothing – it’s about honouring the space between what was and what’s calling you forward.

This is deep, intentional work. The kind that requires patience, introspection and presence.

A little supportive structure can help with this. Think of it as scaffolding around a building undergoing renovation, supporting the process and creating safety while the transformation unfolds.

This might look something like:

Creating gentle rhythms to anchor your days without constraining them – perhaps 20 minutes of morning stillness with your journal and coffee, or a weekly walk that becomes sacred thinking time.

Building a flexible structure into your week – Monday morning nature walks, Wednesday coffee dates that nourish connection, Friday afternoons devoted to whatever creative urge surfaces.

Seeking supportive exploration – a short course that sparks curiosity, a retreat that offers space for reflection, or coaching conversations that help you notice what’s stirring beneath the surface.

But how long should I stay in the pause?

This is one of the most common questions I hear…  usually wrapped in worry: Am I taking too long? Shouldn’t I be doing more by now?

Here’s the truth that might frustrate you: it depends entirely on you.

Some people emerge from their fertile void after a few weeks, others after several months. I’ve worked with clients who needed a full year to shed their old professional skin and discover what was waiting to emerge. There’s no universal timeline for transformation – only your inner rhythm.

The magic happens when you stop watching the clock and start tuning into yourself.  Ask these questions regularly: Do I still feel foggy and restless? Or is something inside me beginning to settle and clarify? Am I still grieving what I’ve lost, or am I starting to get curious about what’s possible?

Here’s what helps: Set a gentle review point rather than a rigid deadline. Tell yourself, “I’m giving myself permission to pause until the end of autumn, and then I’ll check in with how I’m feeling.” This transforms waiting into an intentional part of the process.

Because after years of guiding people through transitions, I’ve witnessed how clarity can’t be forced. The pause is never wasted time; it is an investment in whatever comes next. 

The pause is where clarity finds you

Many people try to skip this stage, but sooner or later, it has a way of catching up.

If you’re standing at the threshold of retirement – or moving through any major life change – give yourself permission to ’embrace the pause’. Take a walk without a destination. Gaze out the window without guilt. Say no without explanation. Rest without justification.

You’re not wasting time – you’re learning to respond from your centre rather than react from your anxiety. And it’s in that shift that new perspectives, grounded choices, and fresh beginnings quietly start to take shape.

Ready to make the most of your pause?

Feeling stuck between what was and what’s next? That’s the perfect moment for a Powerful Pause session.

In a one-off coaching session, we’ll explore where you are, what this moment is asking of you, and how to create just enough structure to move through this transition with intention.

No rushing. No pressure. Just focus, support, and space to see what’s possible.

Find out more here.

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Is Retirement the Wrong Word for What’s Next?

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Is Retirement the Wrong Word for What’s Next?

For a growing number of us, the word retirement just doesn’t sit right.

It feels off. Outdated. Maybe even a little insulting, embarrassing… or simply irrelevant.

So it’s no surprise that more and more people are quietly letting go of the “R word” altogether – because it just doesn’t fit. Not with who they are now, and definitely not with the life they want next.

And I get it. Not just because I’ve heard it in countless conversations with clients and friends, but because I’ve felt it too.

There’s a growing sense that we need a new vocabulary for this time of life. Something that reflects who we are now, and where we’re heading.

This shift is really about rethinking retirement –moving beyond outdated assumptions and finding language that feels more open, more relevant, and more true.

It’s not that we haven’t tried. I’ve seen (and used) all kinds of alternatives – The Third Act, Your Next Chapter, Post-Career Life, Reinvention, Unretirement, Portfolio Retirement.

Some may land better than others. But do any truly resonate with you?

The Four Quarters of Life

For me, the language we use needs to be neutral and non-judgemental, yet broad enough to capture the richness and variety of this life stage.

And that’s a tall order!

But recently, I came across an idea that resonated with me.

In this article, the author Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, frames life as four phases or Four Quarters, with ‘retirement’ reimagined as Quarter Three.

Here’s the gist:

  • Q1 GROWING: is our childhood and youth.

  • Q2 ACHIEVING: is the first half of adulthood – building careers, raising families, juggling different roles etc.

  • Q3 BECOMING: an entirely new phase representing an extended season of active, purposeful adulthood.

  • Q4 HARVESTING: is older age, starting later and lasting longer than it used to.

Why It Works

It’s a simple but powerful framework – a new kind of life roadmap – where each quarter has its own rhythm, its own unique blend of challenges, opportunities, and purpose.

Saying someone is in Q2 or Q3 is simple, neutral, and gently acknowledges life’s natural evolution without being judgmental or prescriptive. (It also carries a familiar ring for anyone who’s ever worked in a business or financial setting, where “quarters” are a common frame of reference, making it a surprisingly effective metaphor for the different seasons of life.)

What I love most is its neutrality. Labels like “Quarter Three” come without the baggage that so often accompanies ‘retirement’. No assumptions, no stereotypes. Just a clear, flexible framework for thinking about life as it continues to unfold.

There’s no set script. Just an open invitation to explore what this stage of life could really be about.

Because when you understand the arc of each quarter, you start to see and understand your own journey more clearly – where you’ve been, where you are now, and where you’re headed next.

And that’s what makes this model so compelling: each quarter is a fresh chapter, full of potential and possibility… a natural moment to pause, reflect on what’s mattered most so far, and consciously shape what comes next.

Welcome to Q3 - the Start of a Dynamic New Chapter

Most people assume that our increasing longevity means tacking on extra years at the end of life – more time in Q4. But because we’re healthier, more energetic, and more engaged in our 60s and 70s than any generation before us, ‘Quarter Three’ has expanded to accommodate this development.

Which makes perfect sense.

Because maybe you’re not planning to slow down.
You’re not planning to fade away.
And you’re definitely not done!

You’re just… ready for a more intentional chapter – one that’s shaped by you, not by society’s expectations.

For me, Quarter Three feels full of possibility – far more expansive than the word retirement ever did. Because in the end, this isn’t just about changing the vocabulary – ultimately, it’s about something deeper:

  • How do you want to spend your time?
  • What do you want more of in your life?
  • What are you ready to release?
  • What feels like it’s just getting started? And what’s run its course?

For some, this time is about starting afresh, launching something new, diving into a cause, exploring the world, or making a bold change. For others, it’s a chance to slow down, reset priorities, and create more room for what brings joy.

There is no one-size-fits-all path – just an open invitation to live these extra years in a way that feels deeply true to you.

If 'Retirement' Doesn’t Fit, That’s a Clue

After circling this question for far too long, here’s where I am right now:

If “retirement” doesn’t sit right, that’s not a problem – it’s a prompt.

It’s signal to pause, reflect, and ask: What do I really want this next chapter to look like?

  • It’s your invitation to rewrite the rules.
  • To define this stage on your own terms.
  • To create a life filled with purpose, joy, and meaning.

Seen through this lens, Quarter Three is where intention meets opportunity and where this chapter really comes to life.

Ready to rethink what this next phase could look like — on your terms?
You might enjoy my Retirement Springboard. It’s a simple, thoughtful way to press pause and reflect on what you really want next. You’ll answer a few powerful questions, from which I’ll create a personal visual snapshot – a valuable starting point for our 90-minute coaching session together.

No jargon. No “shoulds.” Just clarity, choice, and a fresh perspective. Find out more here.

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